Hong-Do Mirror (1985)

Horrible, fascist and poorly acted

A Brilliant Conflict

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

DRAGON AGAINST VAMPIRE is a typically inane martial arts/horror combo from Godfrey Ho, here writing under the pseudonym Benny Ho. The director is credited as one Lionel Leung, who only has this single credit to his name, which sounds suspiciously like another Ho pseudonym. Nothing would surprise me at this point. The film is yet another South Korean/Hong Kong co-production that may be the result of two films stitched together, as it's completely nonsensical.The story begins with three grave robbers larking about in a cemetery and getting spooked by lively corpses. One of them, a fat guy, finds a cute dog and eats it in a distasteful scene. Eventually they meet a martial arts master who looks a bit like Yuen Biao if you squint a lot, and they also encounter a vampire which is sadly Westernised rather than the hopping variety that I personally love seeing in Chinese cinema. What follows is a jumble of scenes that seem to be randomly thrown together. There are cheesy effects, a lot of night time stuff, bad humour, and a little action, mainly at the climax. It's very, very bad, and thoroughly confusing.

It took me a while to grasp this movie. There is a plot, more or less, but there are so many random things that... well... Who is the guy in the coffin? or the other coffin? He isn't the vampire, because he comes from a door. Why are they on the run? Why does the swastika fend of the undead? I honestly cannot fathom why there is a turtle and a log in the river to save Tony. This film must have lost a few scenes in the editing room, because it doesn't make sense Spoiler: Somewhere in the movie, we are introduced to another vampire. Well, Surprise! that vampire is the other vampire wearing a mask. But you can clearly see that the other vampire is a real person, and has silly putty on his nose. Also, the characters find a severed head. Upon first glimpse, A friend and I thought the corpse had been thrown through a mattress, but no, it is supposed to be a severed head. Don't blame us, you can see the poor b******d's body. See this movie. I bought it for a dollar, and it was the best dollar I have ever spent. You will laugh, you will cry, because this movie sucks a-hole and is my god, at the same time.

The video box cover presents this flick as a hybrid of the martial arts and horror genres. Upon renting it, I figured that if it did not succeed as a horror flick (which was not likely anyway), that it would at least have some good martial arts sequences -- or vice versa. Well, it fails on all counts.Basically a series of lame, crude comedy sketches. Bad dubbing. A ripoff.

Three goofy, unsuccessful thieves wander around robbing graves, eating dogs, getting attacked by hands that burst from the ground, and acting unconscionably stupid. They come to an old inn and find out that a vampire has been preying on virginal young girls in the area. Two of the thieves and the innkeeper are killed, so the remaining thief tries to protect the innkeeper's beautiful daughter and avenge his friends. The vampire can control the daughter's mind, and he makes her drink chicken blood. The thief goes to an old hermit who teaches him Shaolin sorcery and gives him an amulet that looks like a backwards swastika but works like a crucifix. Not much fighting, but plenty of comedy, and a little mild gore. Enjoyable enough Chinese kung fu/comedy/horror, but seeing the name "Elton Chong" in the credits is always a sign that this isn't going to be the best kung fu movie you've ever seen...