7 Mummies (2006)

It's Difficult NOT To Enjoy This Movie

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

The movie runs out of plot and jokes well before the end of a two-hour running time, long for a light comedy.

There is definitely an excellent idea hidden in the background of the film. Unfortunately, it's difficult to find it.

The opening scene is roughly 5 minutes of two men dragging a coffin followed by ten minutes of opening credits (THANK YOU DIRECTORS GUILD). The plot fleshes out fast and simply with not a thought to be wasted figuring it out, sadly it's a plot more akin to a theme park Halloween show than an actual film. The dialog is blessed with more expletives than Eddy Murphy Raw, while maintaining a fresh 'I've never heard actual conversations' kind of pace. Now don't go thinking this film is devoid of personality, why the opening credits star a very talented Tarantula who is for all practical purposes acting very natural. I think probably the most amazing thing about this 'film' is that somebody actually funded it and it found it's way to DVD. HOW? WHY? There are tons of student films made every year that have this film beat in every way possible. Here's a short list of what can be found here, breasts, vampires, mummies, cowboys and kung fu mummies (which are wicked nimble), all this to a hodge podge of music ranging from uninspired rock to ineffectual rap. Brilliant use of money and B-list actors.

This wasn't a bad movie, but the end was ridiculous! The end scene with what I assume was the sheriff was unnecessary, and repetitive.That said this wasn't a bad movie. I am a fan of B horror, and I have certainly seen worse, much worse. But there were a number of inconsistencies, that could have easily been cleared up without adding any extra time to the film; though at one hour and twenty minutes another 15 or 20 minutes to give us some backstory certainly wouldn't have made this film overly long.MY biggest complaint is what were Billy Wirth and Matt Schulze doing in this film! Both are good actors that weren't even given the chance to rise above the mediocre script.

Hard core horror fans might be disappointed, but this film has some good action-adventure with an Old West twist, which makes for a fun time. Vampires, ghouls, a decapitated convict, bad-ass Old West Sheriff and deputies, lost gold, all make for an interesting story, much more than your standard slasher flick. The film contains an upbeat score and strong talent, including popular tough guys Matt Schultz and Andrew Bryniarski, Billy Drago as the wicked Sheriff, Danny Trejo as the old Apache, and a couple of hotties, Cerina Vincent and Adrianne Palicki, nice! Rapper NORE plays a decent part as a convict, who looses his head when chased him down off horseback with a cavalry saber! Opens a little slow, but picks up momentum when the convicts get to town, with some good chase scenes and stylized fight scenes choreographed by Hong Kong action director Tony Hueng. Special makeup effects look good, especially the scissors in the eye and decapitation. Definitely worth a look.

Themovie opens with a horribly lame scene - two men in the desert, no town nearby, no horses, no provisions, and dragging a casket. Right! This is the opening to what becomes and even worse attempt at film making. Poor dialogue, poor story, unbelievable circumstance, and mediocre - at best - make up effects make this one big bomb of a stinker. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE fan of horror and have been since near birth. Love low-budget films since they nearly all contain the raw, gritty edge that Hollywood films almost always lack. But 7 Mummies is not worth anyones time let alone the money they spent to make this. The direction is just plain bad with overly long cut scenes and poor angles that do no justice to the forced story line. Just a big bunch of YUCK!