Samurai Cop (1991)

That was an excellent one.

it is the rare 'crazy' movie that actually has something to say.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Samurai Cop is a movie that is bad on so many levels that it's difficult to know where to begin. First of all, the acting performances are below average and lead actor Mathew Karedas seems to only have one facial expression. The plot is everything but clever, extremely predictable and could be described as almost childish. The dialogues are thin, unconvincing and often performed in poor English because the script was written by Iranian director Amir Shervan who didn't have much experience. The female characters in this movie are all stupidly obsessed with sex and the male characters try to look cool on purpose which makes them look like complete idiots. The camera techniques are often terrible because characters who are talking are sometimes out of frame or picture. Technicians are sometimes visible in the reflections of sunglasses or as shadows in a small room. There are numerous continuity mistakes with people wearing sunglasses in one cut and not wearing them in the next cut four seconds later, hospital rooms being filled with people that have mysteriously vanished five seconds later and people being asked to come from New York City to Los Angeles who are suddenly present a few minutes later as if they had taken a rocket ride. The locations of this film are also boring and mostly consist of exchangeable alleys, random intersections and cheap restaurants. The worst part about the movie is that the director forgot to shoot some important scenes and asked the different actors to come together again to finish the film about four months after it had already been finished. The problem here is that our static lead actor Mathew Karedas cut his long hair after the movie had been completed and had to wear a wig to avoid continuity errors. The problem is that this wig looks extremely fake and is even pulled off his head in a fight Scene if you watch closely which is the cherry on the cake of this goofy b-movie.You might wonder why this film still deserved a generous five out of ten points. The answer is quite obvious. This film is so bad that it's almost good again. It's quite amusing to catch all the obvious mistakes. The film is unpredictable in its goofy weirdness. A nice drinking game invented by two German comedians specifically for this movie consists of drinking a shot of alcohol each time the main character's wig is visible.To be fair though, it's a quite entertaining movie with a lot of car chases and fight scenes with bare hands, pistols, swords and improvised weapons. The movie also includes several soft porn scenes and a shallow love story that gives us a break from all the action. I was never bored by this movie because of its vivid flow. Most action movies these days either bore with complicated background stories, endless dialogues and take themselves way too serious or are filled with exchangeable CGI effects and enormous plot holes in unnecessary sequels. From that point of view, Samurai Cop is almost refreshingly grounded and unpretentious.Fans of old-school action b-movies could be very well entertained by Samurai Cop and can give this film a shot if they are open to have some fun. My advice would be to invite some friends over while watching this film. Despite its numerous obvious flaws, Samurai Cop is still overall an average movie and not among the worst films I have ever watched like so many other people claim.

If it's bad enough for the old MST3K crew, then it's really not worth the time spent suffering through it on your own. You are in much better hands if you go with the Rifftrax version of Samurai Cop. Mike, Bill and Kevin (my personal favorite of the 3) will gladly take one for the team. Comparisons with The Room are appropriate but only because I don't buy in on the cult status of that flick. Don't bother unless you're funnier than Rifftrax. Which ain't likely. I include myself in that. This movie is not "purposely" funny. The filmmakers made what they thought was a decent film with Steve Carrel in a wig. Their line, not mine.

Oh boy, Samurai Cop, now THIS is prime-time early 90's direct-to-video cheese at its absolute best! This movie is bad in just about every imaginable way. HOWEVER it is also profoundly entertaining at the same time, particularly the first half of the film. I'll say this, if you like to watch bad movies for the laughs, then watch this movie, you'll laugh and laugh a lot. Incompetence all over the place, the casting, the acting, the writing, the accents, the uber-generic plot, Mathew Karedas' hair, etc. This movie DOES feature some of the most pathetic and incompetent henchmen you'll ever see. Where did they find some of these guys, gas stations, grocery stores, bowling alleys, gym's. Obviously careful casting was NOT a concern for the makers of this awesomely terrible low-budget action flick. Special mention must be made about the ridiculous looking "actor" who plays the lead role of "Joe Marshall". A pretty-boy/bad actor name Mathew Karedas, I feel I have to make mention of his "beautiful flowing locks", and the fact that he looks so profoundly out of place in this type of movie. He looks more like a guy that came right off the cover of a romance novel, rather than a guy properly cast as the lead in an action film. And as far as his martial art skills go, when I was watching this recently, I was getting the impression that he was picking up said skills while making the film. In any case, I did not think he was convincing in any of his numerous fight scenes. But again, the funniest aspect of this terrible movie, for me at least, is the sheer ridiculousness of HIS HAIR; which in some scenes seems to be a WIG worn by his stunt double. I swear I saw that goofy-looking wig shift noticeably a time or two.Released in 1991, they simply DO NOT make made-for-TV movies like THIS anymore. Samurai Cop delivers in just about every possible way a bad action movie can deliver. Especially the first half you'll break you ribs laughing, in the second half the action (and T and A) tend to overtake the humor aspect. Then again the hero of the movie (and his HAIR) looks so ridiculous, the mere sight of him should make you snicker (or at least smirk) every time he's on the screen. Mathew Karedas must rank as one of the least convincing actors ever to appear in an action film. I'd say a modelling agency or a hair salon employee would be a better fit for him, anything but a film career.Have you ever heard the expression "It's so bad, it's good."? Well that phrase definitely seems fitting for the crap-fest that is SAMURAI COP!PS - Samurai Cop really does give DEATH WISH 3 a run for its money, for the gold medal for: "most ridiculous, low-budget, bad action film"......but I still side with Death Wish 3.

Attempting to describe Samurai Cop is not easy. It's like director Amir Shervan and everyone else involved made this movie without having ever seen another movie before. Only having HEARD of something called a "movie" and trying to make one themselves, sight unseen, with nothing to compare it to. Thus, Samurai Cop is chock full of non-actors giving hilarious line readings, absurd dubbing, and hacksaw editing consisting of various scenes of strange-looking people attempting to communicate with each other in ways human beings have not yet seen.This is probably pointless, but here's the plot: the evil Katana gang is causing all sorts of trouble in the L.A. Area. Chinese and Japanese gangs are at war and there is violence everywhere. Luckily, the LAPD has an ace in the hole: Joe "Samurai" Marshall (Hannon), a long-haired, orange-skinned freak who just learned English a few weeks ago. They called him in from San Diego because of some sort of expertise in Japanese culture, hence his nifty nickname. They team him up with Frank (Frazer), presumably because of his mastery of reaction shots. Peggy (Moore, who apparently has taken this film off her resume) is a female cop helping them out, because Yamashita (the non-Japanese Z'Dar), Fujiyama (Rescober), and Gerald Okamura as...wait for it...OKAMURA are a serious gang to be reckoned with Back at the police station, the angry chief to end all angry chiefs is Captain Roma, the apoplectic but somehow lovable boss.This movie is absolutely hilarious. The dubbing alone is worth the price of admission. Supposedly found languishing in a vault in Italy and brought to light by Italian cinephiles which led to its eventual DVD release on Media Blasters (complete with a funny Joe Bob Briggs commentary track), Samurai Cop stands alone in its charming, winning, violence-and-nudity-packed ineptitude.But top honors must go, not to stalwarts Robert Z'Dar and Gerald Okamura, but to American hero Matt Hannon. Not credited with any other movie, and supposedly a one-time bodyguard for Sylvester Stallone, this man is amazing. Perhaps the ultimate meathead, he makes Chip Mayer look like Joe Lara, whatever that means. The fact that "Samurai" Joe Marshall is supposed to be this great womanizer is too funny. He's so unbelievably wooden, he makes the Amazon rainforest look barren. And his quasi-nudity doesn't help matters. (Nor does the quasi-nudity of Z'Dar and Okamura, but it is balanced nicely with some softcore porn-type scenes that pad out the inexplicable 96-minute running time).Perhaps director Shervan was going for a Lethal Weapon/Miami Vice sort of thing, but the stunning lack of continuity or any sort of pacing make the movie seem like a complete absurdity, almost a surrealist film. Due to its breaking of just about every rule of filmmaking, it seems like a child made it. While watching the movie, you can't help but ask yourself "where did they find these people?" Apparently it was named Samurai Cop to cash in on the whole Z'Dar-Maniac Cop connection - but just ignore the misleading box art. Comparisons could also be made, at least in the buddy cop department, to Action USA, but Frank is no Panama, sadly. Naturally it all ends in the time-honored "final field fight" after Frank and Joe have killed all the mulleted goons around.An awesome, one-of-a-kind movie that seems like it was made on another planet, Samurai Cop is a classic for the ages.