31 (2016)

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

Dreadfully Boring

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

As an adamant horror movie fan, I happened upon this movie, thinking it would be just another cliche survival horror films. Instead, I found one of the most disgusting films I've ever seen, one that I couldn't even stomach finishing. I don't tend to be bothered by gore or vulgarity, but this film took everything to another level. The characters were uninteresting and poorly developed, even by horror standards. Combined with poor acting and even worse dialogue, the film was a complete mess. and unbearable to watch. There were whole scenes in this movie that could have been taken out, being placed in to have no other purpose but shock value.I wasn't expecting the best of the best here, but I was so bothered by this film that I actually needed to write a review to tell others just how awful it was. I couldn't imagine what Rob Zombie was thinking when making this and quite frankly I don't know what I was thinking when I picked this film to watch.DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WATCHING THIS!!!

"31" is the kind of movie that makes you wonder what went wrong. It seems unlikely the filmmakers were happy with the final product. It's confusing, hard to follow, and the pacing is all messed up. It feels like it's probably missing scenes that would have explained key details, or given us time to catch up and actually care about what we're seeing.The plot is something to do with a group of people traveling in a camper van in the '70s when they get kidnapped by a murderous group of side show freaks and forced to play some kind of survival game.Apparently this group of people are carnival workers themselves, though I missed where that was explained. Aside from Sheri Moon Zombie none of the characters make any impression anyway. One of them looks so much like a young Sid Haig you wonder why the man himself wasn't cast.The movie has one great moment, and that's the very beginning. Richard Brake, a great discovery of Zombie's, breaks (no pun intended) the fourth wall and I had the uncanny sensation he really was talking to me. I can't remember that happening in a movie before.Apparently this movie was crowd-funded "twice". Perhaps that is a sign that something went wrong behind the scenes. Did they run out of money the first time?

This was a good movie. I tried watching it the first time, and the diversity of the characters and the monotonous plot of characters running from their captors really made me turn it off. However, in my second viewing, I was surprised by my lack of trust in Mr. Rob Zombie. I think the ending may have solidified this as a good addition to the director's filmography. The killer in the white face paint is a pretty damn good villain! The story is simple. Circus employees get captured, and are sent to a place where the game is for them to stay alive. All of them die slowly, except the blonde, who wins the game just as the "guy in the white face paint" is about to kill her. Let me just end this review by saying that the guy in the white face paint is the man.6 Stars

While I don't think its as bad as as most people seem to be voting this movie, its far from good. Its your typical, run of the mill "people locked in a building and have to escape while getting hunted down by psychopathic killers dressed as midget zombies, clowns or the joker out of batman armed with chainsaws, knives and big sticks" film.Its OK(ish) in all honesty, much better than Lords of Salem not as good as House of 1000 Corpses or Devils rejects - horror has become a very disappointing genre, there have been very, very few notable horror movies released in the last decade and this is no exception, just more fodder for the bargain bin.