Unseen Evil 2 (2005)

Wonderful character development!

Good concept, poorly executed.

Boring

A very feeble attempt at affirmatie action

I caught this on Amazon Prime under the title ALIEN 3000. The video cover complete with an image of the alien from ALIEN but in fact this is nothing more than another blatant copy of PREDATOR. Once again a bunch of characters are trekking through the wood when they're stalked and murdered by an invisible alien in scenes that come very close to those in the John McTiernan movie. B-movie stalwart Lorenzo Lamas headlines an entirely undistinguished cast, and the film as a whole is improbably bad, with shonky editing, boring direction, and half-hearted performances. The invisibility effects are okay and there's plenty of gore, but it's very cheesy indeed, hardly better than a Troma movie. Apparently this was originally a sequel to a film called UNSEEN EVIL, and I'm sure it couldn't have been as bad as this is.

Hands down, this is the most vile piece of garbage ever committed to film. I am a big fan of B movies: flicks so bad they are good. This is not it. This is the "so inept it should have been destroyed as soon as it was made" bad. Honestly, a 12 year old could have come up with a more coherent story. NONE of it made sense, the special effects were a joke. Even the actors knew what was up. They just deliver their lines with a sarcastic smile/laugh, as if saying "is this abortion over yet?". The box picture is an outright lie: false advertising trying to suck in unsuspecting rental customers. There is no alien like it at all in the movie. Obviously this was a trick by the video company to get some return on their investment when they realized the movie alone wouldn't do it. Avoid this at all costs. It is not even worth renting to laugh at it. The only redeeming part of the whole movie was the one hot brunette who swore nonsensically for no reason all the time. How a movie this bad can get a national video release and end up in video stores throughout the country is beyond me, while many AWESOME 70s and 80s movie STILL aren't even available on DVD. Sad. This flick is the reason IMDb needs to allow a 0 rating. You have been warned.

One of the worst films I have or ever WILL view. Highlight was the nice topless scene in the first 2 minutes, then all downhill from there. Previous reviews are correct. They use model helicopters that I could probably photograph and make look more real than the movie did...OMG, I was laughing, it was so funny. But it's supposed to be a "scary" movie and here I am splitting a gut over the cheap props....explosions that my kids can simulate easily. The entire storyline is an utter insult to one's intelligence. For example, we're supposed to believe that Lorenzo and his military buddy JUMP FROM THAT TOY HELICOPTER WITHOUT PARACHUTES AND THEY BOTH WALK AWAY? Are you kidding me?Some of the special effects remind me of the late 60's early 70's cartoon series, "The Thunderbirds," where puppet like characters and buildings were supposed to look "real" but there is no way they were actually real. The only thing that kept me watching to the end was to see how much worse it could possibly get...and trust me, it did. From concept to plot to storyline to acting to special effects, this has got to be in the running for all-time bomb of all time. Heck, if they had used a bomb as big as this movie against that alien, he would have died on the first hit. This screenplay unfolds A LOT like my own first attempt to write an original creative story...oh, did I mention that it was a 6th grade project? DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, BAD MOVIE APPROACHING! DANGER! DANGER!

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* You could easily write a book about all of the things wrong with "Alien 3000". Easily. This movie screams incompetence from beginning to end. It proudly shouts it from the mountaintop for the whole world to hear. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I found a few terrible parts enjoyable. There were scenes in "Alien 3000" that had me rolling in my chair with laughter. I doubt the movie was looking for that reaction but it got it from me."Alien 3000" is about a cave and the cheap invisible monster that lives there. The government sends a misfit crew of mercenaries to check it out. Lorenzo Lamas is hanging out back at their cardboard building headquarters for some B-movie backup. After much shouting and arguing amongst the soldiers, the monster decides he's had enough of their whining and proceeds to tear his way through them."Alien 3000" is a bad movie. It's got bad acting, horrible casting, atrocious special effects and generally reeks like a dead fish. The problems are almost too numerous to mention but here are some of them. First off, if the government is so concerned about the monster, why does it send the reject squad of mercenaries to handle it? These bozos didn't look like they could kill a slow moving fly, let alone kill a monster. All of the scenes with Lamas looked like they were filmed separately. He never once interacted with the main cast. "Alien 3000" felt like two or three different movies pounded together.The other big problem was with the special effects. They were mighty cheap and terrible although some of them were so awful that I had to laugh at them. One scene has a soldier running toward Lama's helicopter when he suddenly explodes. Another scene has the monster flying through the air and landing on Lorenzo's copter. These scenes may sound reasonable enough but in the movie they are handled with such ineptness you'll be howling with pain/joy. Both of these scenes had me laughing my head off. At least I got something halfway fun out of "Alien 3000".