Downtown (1975)

Tied for the best movie I have ever seen

Good , But It Is Overrated By Some

Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

"Downtown - Die nackten Puppen der Unterwelt" or "Schwarze Nylons, wilde Engel" or just "Downtown" is a Swiss, German-language film from 1975, so this one had its 40th anniversary last year. The man behind this film is Jésús Franco, who also plays the main character in here and the way he wrote this character shows how little he takes himself seriously. It is a private eye who constantly runs into a dark-haired woman and her lesbian lover and they use him on several occasions to do what they want and get what the want. At least he gets some sexual favors in return for his stupidity. Franco is actually fairly famous and he made films in all kinds of countries. Here we have him in the German-speaking regions. This is not a good film by any means. At best, you can enjoy this as a guilty pleasure (or for sexual pleasure), but it's really all about the very graphic and very close shots of female genitalia that keeps this from being anything other than porn. Oh well, at least the women are beautiful and that includes Franco's partner and muse Lina Romay in her early 20s. As a whole, I just cannot recommend the watch. The story is way too weak for that and I give it a thumbs-down and I am glad it is a pretty short film, barely makes it past the 80-minute mark. watch something else instead.

With "Downtown", Jess Franco tries to be Humphrey Bogart - and needless to say, he fails! Although Franco frequently made appearances in front of the camera in his films, this is a rare case of him holding the main role, thus giving himself the opportunity to roll around with 3 different naked women (2 at the same time, actually). At least he admits at one point, with remarkable humbleness, that he is no Robert Redford or Alain Delon! He plays a down-and-out private detective operating in Puerto Rico who becomes the patsy of beautiful, full-figured Lina Romay and knockout blonde Martine Stedil. He also does a lot of hard-boiled voice-over narration, which (I hope) is not intended to be taken too seriously ("She was like an icicle that I couldn't stop licking!"). At least this film does attempt to have a plot, which is more than can be said for other Franco efforts. However, I continue to find his "gynecologist's approach" to the women's bodies rather off-putting. There are a lot of other parameters to screen eroticism besides explicit nudity and extreme close-ups, but Franco does not seem to be very familiar with them. ** out of 4.

It's always amusing to watch Jess Franco convert the elements of any film genre into a confused, sleazy spectacle, and Downtown: Die Nackten Puppen der Underwelt is no exception. As if the genre of film noir wasn't already replete with clichéd scenarios, here comes Jess Franco's interpretation, a furiously banal, incredibly sloppy, crotch-shot-filled piece of cinematic madness that's overall worth watching.Downtown tells the story of a private detective and two con-women strippers, one of whom sings hilarious showtunes in English, even though it's clear she doesn't understand a word of what she's saying. It stars Franco, no less, in the main role, and features much of the cast of other Franco/Dietrich collaborations, including the scrumptious Martine Stedil and of course, Lina Romay. The latter two partake in ample nude squirming, in an admirable attempt to portray sexual activity.The story of Downtown doesn't so much unfold before your eyes as it is babbled at you in rapid-fire, bullet-speed dubbed German narration and dialog spoken by a bunch of naked non-German-speaking actors. There's much talk about what's taking place and why, but not much action to depict it on screen, with most of the non-narrated footage devoted to the aforementioned nude squirming and occasional night club music acts. However, to Franco's credit, Downtown's storyline, though confusing and at times insane, is more developed than in most of his other flicks. I recommend Downtown over other Franco/Dietrich features like Sexy Sisters or Rolls-Royce Baby, but definitely not over Barbed Wire Dolls.

Everything about this noir-ish tale about a smalltime private dick (a tour-de-force performance by Franco himself) is wonderfully endearing. Hypnotic minutelong macro-close-ups of undulating vaginas, cheesy Lina Romay-cabaré-routines and a cool performance only Paul Müller is capable of (I love that guy). This movie has it all.Franco's private eye is hired by Lina Romay's character to snare her husband with compromising photos of him canoodling with his mistress (The utterly gorgeous Martine Stedil). Needless to say, things go beump (no I didn't spell it wrong, I merely emulated inspector Closeau) in the night and Franco has to do some real detective work.I love the way Franco played the lead in this one. He glides around town like a little micro mini-pimp womanizing and looking sleepy (and sleazy, mind you) as always. I also like the way he bumps into the camera shaking the frame when jumping over a hedge.And finally, we get to see the most blatant case of the director Franco taking care of the actor Franco, when throwing himself head first into a threesome with Lina Romay and Martine Stedil, eagerly masturbating them both, for real, on camera. That's dedication to your art if I ever saw it.And that's the reason I'm a Francophile-He always has something unique up his sleeve you least expected to see. And, let's face it, a fat man bobbing up and down between two vaginas, was truly unexpected. He shoots. He scores. Like always.Apemolecule