The Lone Ranger (2013)

Such a frustrating disappointment

So much average

As Good As It Gets

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

The Longer Ranger Is a movie starring Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, and William Fichtner. Native American warrior Tonto recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid, a man of the law, into a legend of justice. Despite a very well known and solid cast of talented actors, great make up and very good special effects and cgi 'The Longe Ranger' feels more like 'A Pirates of the Caribbean' film than what it should be and don't get me wrong i love that Franchise but this movie needed it to be it's own thing and it wasn't. Hammer was really boring, Depp was totally miscasted and the running time of 150 minutes was way way long for a film made by Disney let's admit it. (4/10)

This movie consisted of 3 train wrecks.One at the beginning, one at the end.and a 2 hour one in between them.If it weren't for some decent special effects, it wouldn't be worth talking about.By far, worst rendition of The Lone Ranger ever made.

Everyone involved in the making of this movie should be tied to a horse and dragged through a mountain of cow dung. Who is this even made for? Not Lone Ranger fans. People complained about Batman & Robin, but at least they didn't portray Batman as a clown in that movie. Imagine if they made a version where Bruce Wayne was a scrawny and ineffective wimp who had to be saved by Robin all the time. Is it made for kids? Not at all. Butch Cavendish cuts out human hearts and eats them. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it. Imagine if The Joker killed a guy in the upcoming Batman, took out his intestines and used them as suspenders. There's a strange scene with scary-looking, meat eating rabbits. Why? I don't know. Something tells me the director and Johnny Depp used most of the movie's budget on drugs. Then, a bunch of Indians are brutally slaughtered, but don't worry, the scene ends with a hilarious scene involving Lone Ranger's horse Silver, so everything's alright! And as usual, the stupid and evil Christians are the villains. I wonder what would happen if someone portrayed Jews or Buddhists in the same fashion? Most people would be offended by it, and rightly so. I can't remember how long the movie was, but it felt like seven hours. I don't know how they managed to make a movie about the Lone Ranger so boring. They robbed us when we bought the ticket/DVD, and then they decided to torture us as well. It's clearly made by a sadist.The real action starts near the very end of the movie, with the William Tell overture and all. The director almost manipulated me into believing his movie was great for a second or two. He's the real villain in this. The sound of hooves beating the ground during the action scene was probably just an edited sound recording of Clayton Moore and Walt Disney turning in their graves.Filmmakers today don't give a darn about heroes like The Lone Ranger, and what they stand for. They just want to ridicule them or change them into something unrecognizable or politically correct. Please, just leave The Lone Ranger alone. Let him rest in peace.

A painfully unfunny wraparound story of Tonto, in the 1930s, maybe, narrating this story, his memoir, basically bookending this preposterously overlong, overcomplicated to the point of absurdity western/ comedy/ SciFi, taking place decades earlier...I can barely think clearly after this one.I like Armie Hammer, I have ever since I saw him in The Man From U.N.C.L.E., and I (usually) like Johnny Depp as well, but they are given the most oddball screenplay to work with here, as the film veers wildly from western genre, to zany slapstick, and I kept getting a science fiction vibe in a lot of the scenes, as there was so much of an overuse of CGI.The comedy elements are silly and juvenile, and occasionally tasteless (why do we see a horse taking a dump, only to see Hammer dragged through it?) and the action never looks real, the story lacks any sense of adventure, and I couldn't help wonder why we, as an audience, should care about any of this?I give it a 4/ 10, again, just because I like Hammer and Depp, and because the film does have some impressive looking cinematography in desert southwest, when it isn't drowning in CGI.