Beowulf (1999)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Simply A Masterpiece

Highly Overrated But Still Good

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

An outpost is continually attacked at night by a beast known as Grendel. One day, Beowulf, a mysterious stranger, shows up and claims he will slay it. That's about it for the similarity to the original poem, by the way. This is set in a post-apocalyptic age, or a revisionist history version of the medieval times(I think the specific term is Steampunk). It is an awesome flick, pure B-movie goodness, and it isn't particularly aspiring to be anything more than that. If that isn't appealing to you, this wasn't made for you. On the production side, it has a nice look to it, with great lighting, distinct designs(those weapons are nifty! And not just the morphy ones that the titular hero produces a seemingly endless supply of... add to that the creature stuff) and genuine atmosphere(in spite of a kickass soundtrack consisting of a mix of rock and techno). It's well-paced and does not overstay its welcome(this is about 83 minutes before the credits... and on that note, guess what the opening titles of this is? Essentially those of Mortal Kombat of '95, they just swapped the text, the iconic background, and put lightning where there used to be fire). The action is great, if it can feel like it's cutting to a stunt double some(and man, is Lambert proud of his ability to do backflips... he does them as much as he possibly can in this), the choreography is well-done and it's exciting. This also gets genuine tension going, and is scary at points. The badassery is through the roof, especially with Christopher, but really, nearly all the males in this are testosterone-fueled stereotypes spouting ridiculous one-liners. The female lead is Rhona Mitra's cleavage, and one can clearly tell why her breasts were cast(I'm not kidding, she shows them every single time she faces the camera in this... in her sheer outfit, she wears the most clothes out of any of the women in this, which is "hardly any"). For the villain, we have a succubus portrayed by a Playmate who looks and behaves exactly like what her day job is(makes sense, no?). The practical FX are well-done, the CGI is reasonable for the time. For both, they don't rely on it excessively, rather they cut back and forth like before cinema could simply stay on a computer-generated visual, and with the anticipated effect - there is build-up to the monster. There is a bunch of strong, bloody, gory violence, disturbing content, nudity and direct sexuality. I recommend this to any fan of cool, dumb, fun entertainment. 7/10

This movie has nothing to do with the epic Nordic tale of Beowulf and even less about making good movies. The tale is some kind of hash tossed together with a steampunk sci-fi plot using the names and plot frame from the Beowulf tale. It not only rips bits and pieces from movies like "Highlander" and "Mortal Kombat" but stars Christopher Lambert from both those movies. It was like they wrote parts of the movie after they casted the role of Beowulf. I can almost hear the producer telling the writer, "Hey, we scored Christopher Lambert for the lead. Write in some Mortal Kombat and Highlander lines and clichés!". Ugh, not that it helped or hurt this stinker which I only give 2 stars for Grendel's Mom. Who is basically a babe from Bay Watch and Playboy. This is a good guy movie or something stupid to toss on during a party and you know everyone is going to ignore it.

This will be brief because there isn't much to say...Post Apocalyptic retelling of the story stars Christopher Lambert as our hero. Good but low budget action sequence of Lambert rescuing a maiden from a mob opens the film and if you take it for what it is its not bad. The movie soon moves into a castle fortress where any action- mostly coming from interpersonal conflicts- winds down and we have a very talky increasingly dull film.I know that this film is hated by many people and after watching it on Monster the other day I can understand why. The film, after a reasonably beginning just falls off the table (hell its so memorable that I had to see a reference to the new version to remember I saw this old one). The good will of the first half hour is lost by the end of the second and odds are after that you'll be turning this off to find something else. To be honest I got an hour plus into this thing and found I had turned the channel to see what else was on. When I realized that I wanted to see how it ended I found that I had turned back after the movie had ended. Clearly not a ringing endorsement.At best a movie to have on in the background. At worst a snoozer

OK the intro of the movie is a rip off of the one from the Mortal Kombat films (giant disk except instead of fire and a dragon its purple with a silhouette of Beowulf). This movie was so bad I was laughing at its sheer silliness and bad acting. Its basically in a stupid techno blah blah future about a guy, who we have no freaking clue about AT ALL HE'S JUST THERE, who decides to randomly go into a cursed castle (which has people living in it?)and fight a demon named Grendel, Now the castle's population is slowly going down (I'm guessing this was a plot device used because even the extras got tired of being in it), strange if you're in a castle whose population is being mutilated by a monster WHY WOULD YOU STAY? oh yeah because if they go outside the armada there would rape you, but hey its a semi-post-apocalyptic future right? So yeah the Princess is a stripper who's only weapon is a prison shank (wtf?) and all the soldiers suck at fighting (wow) except the captain who is a macho stereotype (think of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast)who also get gutted by the demon (wait its a demon?). Lambert is a terrible actor in this and I swear I can see the cables that make his jumps and flips possible in EVERY scene. Maybe the Director and Producer were really Stoned one night on crack, pot, and meth and they happened to be reading Beowulf while listening to techno and decided to make this abomination of literature. I personally found this movie funny and consider it a torture device to get P.O.W. to talk because the sheer silliness of it is enough to make you die of laughter. oh yeah Grendel's mom is a porn star, maybe thats why he looks like a leper with like 2,000 STDs. the CG in this movie makes Final Fantasy VII and the first 3 Resident Evil games look next-gen